A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you will know that almost 9 years ago, my life reached a fork in the road and I turned left and started travelling alone. In the years since, I have made peace with being a single person and love the life that I have with my people and my little house.

Sometimes though, I see people who I know, most of whom have actually stayed married and are now (it appears to me) living their best lives. With lives filled with dinners, grandchildren and travel, their happy smiling faces shine out from social media posts in warmer places in the planet than were we are right now!

I'm always pleased to see people living their best life. It's so cool to see photos of far away places or precious precious grandchildren. Don't get me wrong, I am happy too, truly I am. Annie and I are travelling together through the teenage years with their ups and downs. (High school is no joke my friends.) It doesn't matter how old your humans are, you still worry about them, and I have plenty of humans to love and worry about. 

The thing that is hard is that I'm still at the stage of my life where I am trying really hard to balance the budget and I feel like I should be past that stage.  For example I still need to find a piece of spouting for the back of the house to replace the one that fell off two summers ago. The shower is still leaking and now the mould on the wall where the gib is rotting is a weird green colour. The house needs painting and the kitchen needs new lino. I need to pay for clarinet lessons and tyre re-alignment. My rates and my doctor's bills are behind, I feel like i'm continually paying things off. 

And then to top it off I have just handed in my notice on a secure job, and now need to face the future a little more uncertainly. Looking at it objectively, it is probably not ideal, but I'd rather just see it as a rough piece on the road. I'm confident that things will work out in the end, they might look different, but they will be ok.

In the grand scheme of things, there are moments when it is ok to feel lost, and to have to deal with bitterness and disappointment. I know that it will all be okay in the end. The key lies in remembering that I am on a unique journey, and to steer clear of comparisons with others. So here I am, learning to let go of resentment's grasp and trust that every step, no matter how uncertain takes me forward, and to alongside that to embrace the present.