The in-between

Currently I am in a space between what I was doing before and what I am going to be doing in the future (I don't know what that is yet). There are lots of conversations at work and lots of thinking to be done at home. 

Sometimes I am fine and feel peaceful and secure in the knowledge that it will all work out. And sometimes I wake up filled with sadness and wonder what the future holds. Sometimes I feel confident that I did a good job and sometimes I feel like the new person will come in a throw out all the things I did as rubbish. Sometimes I am excited for the future and sometimes I am just downright tired.

I know that I just need to sit with these uncomfortable feelings, that time will pass and it things will work out. I believe that I am employable and that I have good skills. I have loved my team with all of my heart and worked as hard as I could to support them. I believe in our work and I believe in our organisation. I am grateful for my employers for taking a chance on me and on the whole I've done ok. 

In the meantime, spring is here. We have won the war on the chickens and now they are staying in their run and we can crack on with getting the garden planted. There are projects to sew and fruit to cook up for pudding. Worrying won't change things. Time passing will. While time is passing I have plenty of useful, down to earth tasks to keep my hands busy.